Finding Myself...in Nepal...The Seven Truths I Learnt

Its been a while since I have written anything in this travel blog and as part of my non-existent New Year Resolutions I have decided that I will write a little more than NEVER. For those of you who have already checked out my photos of my trip to Nepal on this website and on Facebook, you might perhaps know that I did spend seven days in Nepal at the end of December 2008. Ever since a young age I have been quite attract to the region in which Nepal is located. I still remember watching half of Seven Years in Tibet in 1997; ten years after my first visit to Nepal as a kid. I think I also remember a movie starring Rishi Kapoor in which he is in Nepal for some reason or the other. These two half events in my life touched me deeply…that coupled with the low price of air tickets convinced me that I SHOULD GO TO NEPAL. A quick search on the internet will also reveal to you that not a lot of photos are available about the place that most lovers have talked about at some point in time or the other…

So, on the 20th of December after wasting enough time walking around malls in Dubai I finally decided to spend the remaining Seven days of my holidays in Nepal. What I discovered however was nothing short of a journey of self-discovery. I saw and discovered SEVEN TRUTHS. The following is the account of how I FOUND MYSELF IN NEPAL…


Found Myself on a Cultural Journey

For me I wanted to experience all things Nepali in Nepal. As part of this quest I was looking for as much culture as I could get my hands on. I was in Pokhara for a few days and was waking up and down the high street. While I was doing this, I heard a very nice Nepali Folk song coming from a restaurant just ahead of me. I saw the familiar branding of Coca Cola and the bright lights flashing with the sound of a generator in the background. I decided to give the restaurant a try as part of my efforts to sample the local cuisine.

When I entered the passageway, I was not greeted in the usual way most tourists are when then enter a shop, restaurant or travel agency. There was no warm welcome and no, “NAMASTE”. I was a little taken aback and had half a mind not to spend my Tourist Dollars eating there. However the Nepali folk music beckoned me. So I asked the three waiters where I should go to…the first floor or the ground floor. They gave me a dirty stare and told me to go and sit in the ground floor.

I followed their instructions thinking that my hard earned tourist dollars would not be wasted on a tip if service continued in the same way as their welcome. I waked in and was now surrounded by three young waitresses. I asked to be seated. The restaurant was empty. At this point, my eyes suddenly spotted a girl on a stage wearing a pair of jeans and a bright blue t-shirt dancing provocatively on the stage at the front of the restaurant. In a fraction of a second I realized that I was indeed in a DANCE BAR. As an unmarried young(reasonably young) Indian Male…I could only have two possible reactions. The first would have been to have ensured I walked in with enough small change to be able to throw at the dancer and those to follow, or get my ass out of there before someone who knows my mother sees me there.

Before I could make flight however I was escorted to a table…I refused to sit there because of its proximity to the dancer…and went to a far away location in the restaurant. I then asked for a menu and started reading it carefully. I had worked out in my head that all I needed to do was to say that I wanted something that was not on the menu and then I could just leave without bringing to light the fact that I had actually walked in there my mistake to listen to Nepali Folk Music. I spent a good 3 minutes looking at the menu. Unfortunately, they served, Indian, Chinese, Continental and even American Food. Thankfully they did not have Momo’s…so that’s what I asked for…they said they did not have them…and so I said…OK…then I am leaving. However what I had not noticed was the fact that while I was looking at the menu to order something they did not have, they realized that I was an Indian and the girl in the Jeans and T-shirt was now dancing to Himesh Reshammiya’s Jhalak Dikhlaja. As I was making my way out in a hurry, in the passage way, I crossed a Punjabi Couple from India with their two little children entering the same restaurant. They seem to have heard the familiar hindi song and had decided to give the restaurant a try. I had half a mind to tell them that a DANCE BAR was no place for little children…but then decided to just walk away and let them explain to their kids for the next few years about what that Aunty in the Jeans and T-shirt was doing…


Found Myself seeing inflation in action

The very first thing I FOUND when I landed in Nepal was that you get to see a rather slow economic phenomenon, “INFLATION”, live in action at speeds that make Formula 1 cars look like snails out for a stroll after the rains. As a tourist the moment I landed in Kathmandu, I was greeted with, “Sir, I give you good price.” This statement echoes nation wide and was the only thing I heard as often as the Namaste used to greet tourists and locals alike. I soon discovered that the stronger the FAKE accent, the HIGHER is the price of the product or service on sale. I found that as soon as a shop keeper or travel agent knows that you are a foreigner, (which is not very difficult to tell) prices inflate at the speed of light. Let me give you a few examples. I was travelling from Kathmandu to Chitwan in the south of Nepal and we stopped for a cup of tea and breakfast. Before I could place my order for tea, a whole bunch of American tourists came in like a storm and surrounded the make-shift cash register of the restaurant. They asked for tea…then explained they wanted – “NEPALI TEA”…another one asked for coffee…then explained she wanted – “NEPALI COFFEE”. The price stated for them was Rs. 40. When they left and the inflation storm had passed, I asked for tea…JUST TEA…The price I got was Rs. 20. Later I spoke to my driver who told me that he paid them Rs. 5 and left. (By the Way…Nepali Tea and Nepali Coffee is nothing but MILK added in your Tea or coffee)

This incident brought to light the fact that there are actually Four prices in Nepal. The first is the “White Tourist Rate”. This is the HIGHEST and usually cannot be negotiated. The second is the “Indian Tourist Initial Rate”. This is way lower than the “White Tourist Rate” but can be negotiated. The third price is the “Indian Tourist Negotiated Rate”. This can be as low as a third of the price initially quoted under the “Indian Tourist Initial Rate”. The fourth and final rate is the “Actual Rate”. This is the real price that a Nepali would pay for a product or service. This is usually a tenth of the “White Tourist Rate”.

I found the Inflationary Storm hit me at many places. For example when I was booking a taxi to travel between cities I was told that petrol was very expensive in Nepal and hence prices were high. One travel agent told me that petrol costs $2 in Nepal. A dollar is equal to Rs. 76(Nepali Rupees). This would mean that according to him, a liter of petrol was Rs. 152. When I later checked, the printed price at the Petrol bunk is Rs. 85 and while I was in Nepal the price fell to Rs. 80.

The inflationary storm does not stop with just the price of petrol when you are booking a car. I was told that cars in Nepal are expensive. A later investigation into that fact proved that cars were indeed expensive because of the tax on imports. However I was told that the car I wanted to book cost Rs. 1.3 million to import from India. Anyone from India who hears this DOES NOT EXPECT to be sitting in a Maruti 800 after hearing that PRICE TAG. REALLY…1.3 Million for a Maruti 800…a car that sells in India for less than Three Hundred Thousand…but then again…that’s the Inflationary Storm…later I found that the car actually costs Eight Hundred Thousand in Nepal…a price far lower than what was used to convince me to pay more for my car rental.

One thing that is cheaper in Nepal is international roaming on your mobile phone. This is usually because your home network does not work there and you are forced not to call people. :-)


Found myself discovering my true colors

Let me come clean on this one…I was in Nepal on a photographic expedition. I just wanted to take as many photos of the land as I possibly could. When I got back to Dubai I realized that I had shot the equivalent of 76 rolls of film. When I landed in Nepal, all I had was a change of clothes and my camera bag. My camera bag holds all my lenses and a laptop and has a pouch for my passport and airline tickets. This meant that wherever I went, I went with this big bag. On my trip I was mistaken by a lot of people for many things that I perhaps wasn’t. While I was at the Domestic Airport, I had at least 3 foreigners come up to me and ask me questions about Nepal. When I got to talk to one of them, I realized that she thought I was a Nepali Tour Guide because of my bag and warm jacket. Quite to the contrary when I met Nepalis, they always mistook me for a professional photographer. In fact as a “Professional Photographer”, I did witness a little escalation in my social status in Nepal along with a corresponding increase in prices.

But I digress…as a “Professional Photographer” I wanted to capture the essence of what is 'Nepal'. This meant that I took a lot of photographs of people…lots of people…lots of tourists…and…lots of Indians. I soon realized that it is very easy to spot an Indian Tourist in Nepal. We are always dressed in BRIGHT colors and each item of clothing is a completely different colour. As a pseudo elitist I had myself convinced that this applied only to Indian Tourists from India and as someone who was coming to Nepal from Dubai, I was an exception.

Having said that, I did eventually discover my true colours when I was in Nepal. I was sitting with the Manager of the resort I was staying at in Chitwan in Southern Nepal and he was telling me about the jungle safari we were to be on in the next few hours. He explained to me the species of animals we might see and the birds that frequent the National Park. After a few awkward moments of silence, he finally built up the courage to tell me what he REALLY wanted to. He told me that my clothes were TOO BRIGHT and that I might scare the animals or even make them aggressive. There you go…I was not an exception…I was the rule.


Found Myself becoming one with Nature only to realize I am an Urban Junkie

After covering up my BRIGHT SCARY clothes, I set out on my first Jungle Safari in Nepal. I must confess, I initially thought that the people at the resort who explained to me about my package trip had bad grammar. They told me that we were going into the Jungle "to see Rhino". And then they told me we are going "to watch the bird". I later realized that they did not have bad grammar…they were infact telling me the truth. I went to the jungle with them…and guess what I saw…A RHINO…ONE…and he/she looked quite bored. The next morning we went Bird Watching…that statement was NOT just grammatically correct…it was also the TRUTH. We saw…ONE BIRD. Ok…TWO…but the second was THE COMMON CROW…as an Indian I DO NOT PAY money to see the Crow…and definitely NOT the COMMON CROW.

I did however enjoy all my jungle safaris. I went on a Jeep Safari…and then a walk in the jungle…and a ride in a canoe to "see crocodile". (Yes ONE CROCODILE)…and even went on an Elephant Safari. I politely refused the Camel Safari though…the way I look at it…you don’t go from a DESERT to the MOUNTAINS to sit on a camel and check out the RHINO…its just not done…at least not with my tourist dollars.


The Elephant Safari however was the highlight of the trip. I got to see…THE OTHER RHINO as well…That took the total of animals I saw to three. Sitting on the elephant back however I got to thinking about what goes through the mind of the Rhino when he is eating grass and 35 elephants with tourists surround him? I got to thinking about the domesticated elephants as well….do they have LESS respect with Wild Elephants in the Jungle? Do the elephants and the rhino hang out in the jungle together and make fun of the camel when he goes out on the safari? What do you call it when an elephant has a cold and is blowing his nose? (Blowing his own trumpet of course) How do male elephants respond when a female elephant says, "Darling do I have a big butt?" Do elephants ever go on a diet? Are professional model elephants skinny?

I finally came to the conclusion that I am an Urban Junkie. I like going to the zoo and being able to see 300 animals for AED 4($1). Yes I am a disgrace to all nature lovers. I think I took more photos or people drinking Coca Cola on the elephant backs than I did of animals and trees. I am the kind of guy who goes to an aquarium to see 600 species of fish in 15 minutes…my only exposure to nature is stopping my car by the side of a tree on the highway and drinking coconut juice. Yes…I am ashamed of me too.

I discovered Nepal the Lazy Way. I did not trek to the Himalayas…I took a plane to see Mt. Everest. I did not go to tourist hang outs…I went to vegetable markets that were close by for photographs. I did not pay my models…I would instead take a photo of theirs on my digital camera and then would show it to them as an incentive for them to pose for me again and again for free…that’s how I got those photos…and if you are even for a moment thinking that I stayed in a tent…think again…I changed hotel rooms because the heater would not work. Yes I am ashamed of me too.


Found myself becoming brand conscious

Its funny how Nepal made me discover that I was actually brand conscious. Nepal has very interesting names of shops and brands. You will find that most brands are inspired by the things in close proximity. I found a brand called Everest Beer. All through my journey of discovery I kept thinking of tag lines for them…”Everest Beer – You can’t Get Higher than This”…”Everest Beer – Serve Chilled”…”Everest Beer – Makes you feel you’re on top of the world.” Sadly I never got to drink the beer.

I found some strange names of shops as well…”Western Women Paper Crafts” I am sure they were thinking…let’s just get to the point. “Up E Stairs”…hmmm..."WOW REAL FOOD"...Yum Yum..


But the classic for me was when I was doing a little bit of shopping. I came across and underwear brand called - 'Visa Chi'. When you say that together…what does it sound like? Yup you got it right… Move over Versace and Milan…here comes Visa Chi and Kathmandu…


Found myself cracking top secret business strategies

I discovered some very interesting business strategies in use in Nepal. When I landed in Pokhara, I asked my taxi driver what was there to see in town. He told me…SUNRISE. When someone tells you that for the first time, it makes you wonder…how is it that their Sunrise or Sunset is better that the one I can see from the 7th floor of my building? So I decided to investigate. I booked a Sunrise at my hotel. (YES…you have to book…) At 4:30am my taxi driver came to pick me up. On the way he told me that I will be approached my tour guides and should just refuse their services. So when I land at my sunrise destination, I ignored the calls of the guides. I did however note a very interesting strategy…when they knew that I was Indian, they would look through their phones and then play an Indian song for me on speaker phone. Coincidentally I heard, Jhalak Dikhlaja. Thankfully the sun was not up as yet and so under the cover of darkness I was able to hide my exploits of the previous night. Later Americans passed by and the song on the mobile phone changed to Akon’s Lonely. When the Americans refused the service of a guide, the guide magically transformed into a porter and offered to carry bags. I would have intervened and offered the Americans the friendly advice my taxi driver gave me…but I was unsure if the “Jhalak Dikhlaja” was pure coincidence or a haunting remained from the movie, “I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST NIGHT AT THE DANCE BAR.”

Nepal is full of shops that sell spiritual music and artifacts. You will find that most of them are well stocked in Buddhist and Hindu spiritual music. These shops are mostly frequented by foreigners who are on a quest for deeper spiritual understanding. I did however witness something I found rather amusing. I saw two well dressed tourists enter one of these shops. Since I was in the Café just opposite them, I got to see all that was happening. They entered and were then surrounded by three of the men in the shop. After a lot of talking, browsing and sampling…they finally walked out quite satisfied with their spiritual conquest…they had made a purchase. It was a DVD. A DVD of the film OM SHANTI OM. I wanted to leave my cup of coffee and offer my friendly advice but then I figured…the world WOULD be a better place if we all walked up to people and said, “MIND IT RASKALA!!!”

In Kathmandu I learnt of another strategy employed by Travel Agents and Tour Guides…I found random strangers(Agents) coming up to me and saying, “Hello my friend…you remember me…” Perplexed I would say, “Ahhh….ehh…” To this they would respond…”My friend you are staying in my hotel. I met you yesterday…you want to go sight seeing.” Now since I had just landed that morning in Kathmandu at the end of my trip I did realize that I did not know any of them. So the next time someone came and asked me the same thing, “Hello my friend…you remember me…” I said…”Yes…I am staying at your hotel. You were supposed to give me the change back…I was looking for you yesterday…I tried calling you but it said your phone was off.” I then walked away.


Found Myself discovering the price of True Love

This I think perhaps was by far my best discovery on my trip to Nepal. If you have ever been in love I am sure you have heard someone tell you that they would go to the ends of the earth for you…bring you the moon and even climb the highest mountain for you. I am sure you realized that the Moon story is crap…and the end of the earth does not exist since the world is indeed ROUND. The only thing that is possible is climbing the highest mountain on earth…now that mountain for those of you who are new to this planet is Mt. Everest. I decided to ask my travel agency how I could climb Mt. Everest.

I thought it would be something you could do on the weekend when you find yourself bored in Kathmandu. Apparently NOT. So here's the deal. You need a permit to climb Mt. Everest. This is a government permit that you get with most travel agencies. This costs you $600. You then have to pay an additional $250 garbage deposit which is refundable. This deposit is to ensure that you bring back the stuff you take with you on your climb. This includes your oxygen cylinders and maybe your chocolate wrappers. After all if you are climbing Mt. Everest for love I am sure you will have a heart shaped box of chocolates.

Now that's not all…you also need a Sherpa Guide and porters to carry your equipment to the base camp. A cook can also be arranged at an additional cost. You can buy your equipment or rent it. I would recommend renting since there are very few places in the world where you can use the gear you pick up to go to a place that is usually 50 degree below zero in SUMMER. Having paid for all this equipment you need to then head to base camp which is a 7 day trek. Once you are there, you then start moving to middle camp. Each day you do not climb more than 1000m or your body will not acclimatized to the tinnier air. Once you reach middle camp you need to spend at least a few weeks there getting used to the temperature and thin air. Then…when the weather permits, you need to head to Upper Camp…and then leave at 3 am for the summit of Mt. Everest. Once you are there…it is too cold and windy to ‘hang out’ for too long. You have just enough time to take a photo…but then you realized there is no one else with you…and so you have to take a photo of yourself…this usually means that only your frozen head is visible with your face virtually covered so no one really knows if you were there or not. (Below is what that photo might look like...)You then come down to sea level only to realize that your girlfriend is now married and has two children…


Total bill…$20000. and that’s if you don’t stop to have a cup of tea on the way...The tea will cost you 50 cents if you are a white tourist and another $3 for the map to everest.

Really…not worth it buddy. Just go to the zoo...

Impossible is Nothing - Except of course going to the gym

I'm up next
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

There comes a time in every man's life, when he decides that going to the gym is way too big a responsibility. I have been in that position several times. After paying 3 month subscriptions and attending 3 sessions in 3 gyms in 3 cities, I decided its best to stay close to home...and its even better if you stay AT home...BUT...as fate would have it, I am quite in shape...(ROUND IS A SHAPE) and so I have decided to do something about it...and the latest waste of money project is TENNIS.

After driving past the 2 tennis courts I have in my apartment complex for several months, I decided today to pick up 2 tennis rackets and some tennis balls. Its actually quite amazing when you go to a sports store. The staff there are so slow and move at a pace that would give a tortoise a complex that he may lose his last place in the race. Anyways...I picked up the best equipment Money could buy (Actually the most I was willing to spend knowing that THIS TOO SHALL PASS). You will be surprised how much tennis balls cost now. A box of 3 balls costs Rs. 240...No wonder sportsmen do drugs...its CHEAPER.

Anyways…brought the rackets to the office and what I had was a queue of people who wanted to play the game as well. I have kept the invitation OPEN just so that I make sure I don't quit too soon. So...Got back home...its 8:30...what better thing to do that play a game of Tennis.

Ashok is in town and since most of this was his idea, we headed to the court along with Anand and Soma. Soma had earlier in the day come out running from his studio when he has seen the tennis rackets in the office...

So...the 4 merry men with just about 15 mins of tennis experience between them apart from watching Sania Mirza matches headed to a place most of us have never been before...THE TENNIS COURT.

By now it was 9:30...a great time in my apartment complex to play Tennis...no one else wants to at that time...excellent...we were alone...no audience...Nobody...

So we started...and we...well...sucked...

I have learnt a Five new things today.

1. A Tennis Court is a lot bigger in real life...lot smaller on TV.
2. A Tennis Court is very small when you are serving...and very large when you are not.
3. Watching Sania Mirza is a lot easier than being Sania MIrza.
4. Men do not look good in mini skirts...(Ok that one I learnt last week)
5. Twenty Five foot walls are not enough to contain my deadly Serves.

Playing tennis with people who have never played before is easy...you play a set of 3 games...whoever starts

Wait for it
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

serving in the first game is destined to lose...its very simple...basically we suck at serving...so if you are Serving in the first game...you will lose...score is then 0-1...Then the other person serves in the next game...they lose because they SUCK at serving...score is now 1-1...then you serve in the last game and since you SUCK at serving...you lose...score 1-2...and the set is lost...WONDERFUL!!!

So...now while all this mad action is going on, Soma after playing one and a half games is more tired than when he had to push his bike when he had no petrol...so...he sits down...chills by the side of the court...and guess what...

Tennis Court???
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

HE SLEEPS!!! SOMA...I cannot believe you SLEPT on the court...DUDE!!!

Ok now its time to hit the shower....right after we click Soma's photo.

Just Another Jobless Evening in Kodaikanal

You might have watched the other video about Kodaikanal on my blog, I thought I would add this other version as well just so that you know how serious we really are about travel. Watch for the beauty of Kodaikanal which we have tired very hard to capture with different camera angles.

"I Know my Tyre"

Trip 4 101
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

“I know my tyres”, the words of a man who would pay for the statement with Rs.175…but I’m getting ahead of myself. Since it was the weekend, 4 of us from the office decided to get out of Bangalore and check out the ‘wild outdoors’…and no I’m not talking about MG Road and its reduced space as a result of the Metro Invasion.

Ok…lets get done with the basics first…Julian and Kiran from my office have been wanting to go out on a trip out of town for a while…I am always up for some travel considering I have nothing better to do…and Soma…well, is looking at making a world record by being able to sleep in any and every form of transport known to man. He has been quite successful so far. He has slept in a plane, a train, Bus (While standing), a car and my gypsy even when roads were bad, and now even between speed breakers…will tell you about that in a while…now just the basics…1 Married man, 1 soon to be married man and 2 chaps with so signs of girl friends and one diesel car…those were the characters on the trip.

Yes…for a change we decided not to take Bhima out of town and take a car instead of a jeep just to feel the difference.

Till Friday evening we were unable to decide on where we were going to head out …but then Kiran told us that his brother had been to Kudremukh recently and it was just like Switzerland. We were naturally excited…a place 300 km west of Bangalore, with snow…wonderful…but within a split second (that’s a really really short period of time…almost as long as it took people to realize that Ram Gopal Verma Ki Aag was the World’s worst film) logic kicked us in the arse and we in turn reminded Kiran that, snow in West Karnataka was a unlikely as Tussar Kapoor winning an Oscar for Best Actor.

Anyways…just for the heck of it, we decided to head out to Kudremukh. For those of you who are not familiar with the place, ‘Kudremukh’ mean ‘Horse Face’…a mountain that looks like the face of a horse.

Our plan was simple, 300km, 6 hours and so we could leave late at night and get to Kudremukh by 6 in the morning. At 12 in the night the 4 of us packed into the car and headed west. Luck would have it that the clouds that were thus far holding out, could hold on no longer and just had to go…this meant that the roads were wet, slippery and largely invisible. We were however able to maintain consistent high speeds of 20 to 25 kmph. This meant that if you were on cycles you would reach faster than us. There is just something poetic about leaving the traffic congested roads of a city where you get to drive pretty much all the time on first gear and let loose on the highways pretty much peaking your gears at second…poetic…its what every city dweller dreams of.

So, to make a short story longer, at 6 am, we were 200 km away from Bangalore in a small town called Belur…this was just about half the distance we really needed to cover. Now since there is no real point having a plan and not changing it all the time, we decided that we should change the plan just a little bit because to be really honest we did not have a choice and hence decided to spend sometime checking out the 800 year old temple. Just before we did that however we had to fill our stomachs like polar bears worried about the long winter ahead. Over breakfast we came up with an interesting way to make the meal ‘interesting’…basically we all needed to guess how much the entire meal would cost and the person who is closest to the actual bill amount, pays the bill…basically stupidly would be rewarded…and I must say that I felt stupid after breakfast…but did not need to pay the bill.

Trip 4 002
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

Belur and its temple, quite to our surprise is a very beautiful and awesome place to visit. I would recommend it not just as a stop over on a longer journey but also as a place to visit on its own…also while you are there, play the “Food Bill Guessing Game”…here are the Rules.

1. Everyone Orders without seeing the menu.
2. Eat as much as you want.
3. Once you are done, everyone guesses what the bill amount will come up to.
4. The person who is the “smartest” and comes closest to the bill amount WINS.
5. The person who is the “Smartest” gets Bragging rights…and a lighter wallet.
6. Those who “LOSE” act really sad.

Those are the approved rules of the game…BTW…Soma won the game when we played it.

Ok, now with our sad faces because of our deep loss, we headed again towards Kudremukh. Along the way, we asked people the route and they guided us “wonderfully.” This is what the road looked like.

Trip 4 056
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

As you can guess we were able to again reach incredible speeds of up to 22kmph. This meant that we got to Kudremukh at 5:30 in the evening…bringing our total travel time to 17 and a half hours…we had traveled wet roads, no roads, mud roads and finally ghat roads to make it to the place that was described to us as “Switzerland.” I must say; I was a little disappointed to see ‘no snow’…damn…all that time in the car and no snow…I would be hurt had I not saved some money earlier that morning by “losing” the “Food Bill Guessing Game”…

Ok…lets put emotion aside for 43 seconds…tra la la la la…

We entered the hotel, which was quite amazing but ‘quite’ expensive I must add. The double room with a TV cost Rs. 450 and the Double room without the TV but with an extra bed and a loft with a study, cost Rs.250 for a night. I mean…after prices like that, we did not have the heart to ask if they accepted credit cards…The only positive of a long journey became apparent just then…we realized that instead of 2 nights…our long journey resulted in us only having to pay for 1 night…ooh…the saving…

Anyways, we entered our rooms at 6pm, just about 12 hours later than we were supposed to arrive and then watched the Twenty20 Match between India and Australia and then hit the sack…The next morning we got up by 8 and decided to take in the beauty of Kudremukh and check out the horse face mountain for ourselves.

Trip 4 080
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

So we left the hotel and asked the gentleman at the reception how we could drive down to the horse face mountain…ie. Kudremukh. The kind gentleman told us that we needed to drive down the hill for about 10 km and then trek 14km though the forest to see the wonder of nature that was “Kudremukh’. That was when we decided that there was no REAL need to give a definite image to what our imagination had dreamed up. And so we left the hill station with our only picture of the horse being the one you see below.

Trip 4 069
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

This meant that our journey to Bangalore started quite early in the day…after all we had to drive through roads and no roads to back home. We headed east with a lot of the small little problems and a lot of big quotations. The small problems included driving 1 km down the hill with the boot of the car open…and Soma constantly sleeping after a big meal. The quotations however were a little more interesting…Kiran - whenever we told him that we felt his Tyre air pressure was low, would say, “I know my Tyre.”

About two hours later, his rear tyre got punctured and we had to change the tyre midway and then headed to a puncture shop. This is where I would like to remind you that Kiran said, “I know my Tyre.’…well when the guy at the puncture repair show opened the tyre to fix the puncture, he immediately pointed out that the tube in the tyre was that of a Maruti 800 and not that of a Tata Indicar which it should have been…In Kiran’s defense however you could say that he did say that he knew his tyre…his TUBE was a whole different story.

Trip 4 109
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

After spending 175 bucks to repair the puncher and change the tube we finally got back to Bangalore at 12 midnight, helping us beat our previous journey time record of 17 and half hours by a whole 2 hours…WOW…what timing yaar…Clap Clap Clap….come on that is impressive 300 km in 15.5 hours…oh sorry did I mention we took the wrong diversion and actually traveled 412 km instead of the 297km which is the actual distance between Bangalore and Kudremukh…I didn’t…cool…so lets just act as though I never said that…

Kodaikanal and Sexy Trivia to impress Chicks

Kodaikanal
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

ahh....the 3rd Road trip...no you have not missed anything...the second road trip in Bhima was to Chennai...and for some reason, I just did not feel like taking photographs of the concrete jungle that is Chennai...a big sorry going out to all the 2 and a half people who read my blog in Chennai...one thing that did coming out the road trip in Bhima to Chennai was the fact that Dilip, Pradeep and I decided to take a trip down to Kodaikanal...ok since it is a hill station, perhaps I should say Up To Kodaikanal.

Kodai is quite special to many friends of mine. We used to take road trip to Kodai when we were in college years ago. It used to be amazing...520km and 2 bikes...the wind hitting you along with small insects committing suicide on my helmet visor...Moments I will cherish for 2 more years and then I promise to forget all about them and never say a word about the same.

Ok...so last weekend, Anand (who now works in Bangalore) and I sat in my Jeep and headed down to Kodai from Bangalore. The journey from Bangalore is about 500 km and takes about 10 hours even if you are able to maintain a good average speed. We took NH-7 heading south. NH-7 will be a really good road once it is complete...4 lanes...sexy would be the word...however it will be a word I think you will be able to apply to NH -7 only after 3 years when I feel the road will be complete. However boards by the side of the road state that the deadline for completion is December 2006…WOW…

We headed out of Bangalore at about 9:30 in the evening on Friday and reached Kodai Road Station at the same time when Dilip and Pradeep's train pulled into town. We picked them up and headed straight for the hills. Pradeep was suffering from Madras Eye (Conjunctivitis)...better known in Chennai as ChenEYE...or in the Hills as KodEYE (Kodai). Sorry did I mention, Anand was in full josh with his sick PJ's...if I am not mistaken the above PJ should be credited to him...

Anways we reached Kodai a few hours later and checked into a cottage there. The cottage was wonderful and about 4 km away from the center of the hill station...the photograph you see is the view from the cottage. Since we have been to Kodai so many times, we decided to just hang out and do stuff that we usually don't get to do when we are in Kodai...since that idea failed…we decided to take out the video camera and shoot a music video of the first song that came to mind.


So now the song that came to mind was Tanhayee from the film Dil Chahta Hai. Since the song in the film is picturized around Aamir Khan looking really sad...we decided to do the same. (YES WE ARE JOBLESS CREATURES) We did however turn a few heads in Kodai with us standing in the middle of road and posing as though we were highly paid models from big Urban centers...something that we are...(he he).

Bhima in Kodai
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

Oh...yes...in the middle of all this "FUN" we found a rather interesting puddle on the road leading back to our cottage. Now, as I mentioned earlier, since we were like so swamped with WORK, we drove through this puddle till it was as devoid of water as Chennai was in the early 90's or the Thar Desert is in the peak of summer. In the process we did get a few nice pics of Bhima (The Jeep) driving through and splashing water all over the place. Actually here is something I never knew till recently...and am sure that this information will be very useful to you when you are trying to act like you know more than a rocket scientist from NASA...

Here it is – “When cars drive through puddles, they splash water sideways...however when jeeps and 4X4's drive through puddles, they splash water sideways as well as forwards thus end up splashing water on the windscreen as well.”

I told you...sexy trivia to use with chicks...they dig stuff like this...trust me...I should know...considering me Relationship status is SINGLE.

Trying to be "FUN" people
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

When Zoo Keepers Get Creative

When Zoo Keeper's Get Creative
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

I assume you have read about my First Road Trip in Bhima...if you have not, I would suggest you read the entry that follows this one...and then get back to this entry.

Anyways as the story goes, I was fooled into going to Mysore Zoo a few weeks ago on my First Road Trip in my Gypsy who is now called Bhima...She loves the name...trust me...ok...so I forgot to mention that the zoo is full of interesting sign boards. This one caught my attention...Read it...

WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE FOOLING...painting a board that is 6ft by 3 ft in a ZOO trying to convince people that it is the Animals and not the ZOO KEEPERS talking...what do they think we are??? MORONS...

I would perhaps say a lot more...but I feel like a bit of a MORON ending up in a Zoo instead of a real animal SAFARI...Maybe this board is not that bad after all...

The First Road Trip - Jungle Safari

Bhima...Yup thats what she's called
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

Its been a while since I have blogged...but since I have no good reason as to why I have not written about my half adventures, I am not even gonna apologise. Ok...lets get to the adventure that started a series of road trips in what is now know an 'Bhima'.

For those of you who are not aware of what I am talking about, I am referring to my Gypsy, better known as BHIMA...yes that's her name...yes HER...just to confuse people. You will see her in this photograph...Yes yaar I have placed her next to the German Push Cart just to make her look nice and sexy in comparison...it works...come on...be honest.

Ok...now to the trip...as you can see the photograph looks like an early morning shot on top of a hill. It looks like that most probably because I did take the photograph on top of a hill at an undisclosed location in Karnataka...we were high above sea level...in fact about 4000ft above sea level to exaggerate just a little bit…ok….a lot. This was the first road trip I took Bhima on along with two friends of mine Satish and Soma.

I was hoping this would be a jungle safari and as you can see the photograph of the Rhino, it looks almost like that. Unfortunately this is far...really really far from the truth. Soma insisted we head to Mysore...and once we got there he kept eating my head till we took him to the Mysore Zoo. Hence the safari-like look is as fake as Aishwaria Rai's smile on the Red carpet.

Bhima...the name that inspired a Gypsy
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

The good thing that did come out of the trip to the ZOO (Which I refused to pay for) was the fact that we leant that the Rhino's name in the Zoo is Bhima...and since I have huge Ceat Tyres on my Jeep, we decided to name my darling 4X4 - BHIMA....and hence the name. Yes I know...long story...kind of pointless...but then again so was the last cricket match between India and Australia this week...considering that we had already lost the series and we playing for PRIDE??? PRIDE??? So what were the Boys in Blue playing for before that??? Food??? Money??? Their Girl friends???

Anyways...since I did admit that 'I WENT TO A ZOO'...I might as well tell you about stuff that I saw there...

The Mysore Zoo is actually quite a nice place. They take good care of the animals and if you are lucky you may just see a peacock showing off...we did...and it was wonderful. What however amused me about the whole zoo was this "Sponsorship" of Animals. The funda is that you can sponsor an animal for a month, 6 months or a few years, and in exchange there is a small board is put up outside the cage that says, "This Animal has been adopted by Mr.XTY" .

Mysore Zoo
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

So...as we walked along following Soma and his happy "I'm in a Zoo Smile", we came across the Bear's cage...BTW...Soma convinced Satish and me that the Mysore Zoo has Polar Bears. Even if I did believe him for a fleeting second, I gave up all hope of any possible polar bears just outside the zoo when I was approached by a man in a push cart selling me home made ice-cream for Rs.2.50. Anyways I digress...so we came to the Bear Cage...and I was thinking...wouldn't it be nice if the Bear was sponsored/adopted by the UB Group, the company that owns KINGFISHER...

The board could then read, "Kingfisher Bear"...he he

Sir, tusi toh Genius ho…

Imported Crackery
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

I pass this shop every day on my way home from work and for some reason it catches my eye every time. The reason of course is the fact that I live next to the world's best known traffic jam...in fact it even has a bridge named after it…Marathahalli bridge.

I must tell you about this 'Imported Crackery' shop. Unlike other people who DO NOT CHECK their SPELLINGS BEFORE they paint or print a sign board...I think this shop owner is a genius. Let me explain why...

Every Diwali this shop gets rid of all the cheap ‘Made in China Crap’ that it stocks and sells Crackers(That’s what we call Fireworks in the tropics). Then…when the josh of Diwali is out, "Mr. I don't need Concrete Walls" sells ‘Made in China Crap’ once again at prices so low that you don't care if your tea cup is leaking or your bed sheet was used to put out forest fires.

So...now...lets learn from "Mr. I'm to cheap to install a Door" that two different business ideas can come under ONE Sign Board...and Ladies and Gentlemen that is how we come up with the title, "Imported Crackery".

I rest my case. Sir, tusi toh Genius ho…

Bangalore Airport

Bangalore Airport
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

So...HOW DOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPEN???

There should be a law...a law that says, "Thou shall try thy best not to paint sign boards using phonetic spellings. When in doubt, thou shall ASK!!! When thou ASKS someone, thou shall make sure he is not an absolute MORON"

I would love to say a lot more...but I'm afraid, I just cannot find the motivation since I think this MORONIC SIGN BOARD says a lot more than I ever could. Congratulations sir, you have just invented "The Best way to start a conversation in a Bangalore Traffic Jam."

You should get a Nobal Prise or an Askar award or even a Pullitsar Prige.

My Bank Loves Me

My Bank Loves Me
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

I am sure you have met people in the course of your life who act like they don't understand cricket. They are usually from the Planet Zork, which is on the far side of the Galaxy, where Hockey and Kabbadi rule supreme. Anyways, I was at the ATM the other day, trying to do what most people do there...LOOK OVER THE OTHER PERSONS SHOULDER to see how much money they have in their bank account...(I had more)...but when the dude looked back, I had to act like I was doing something else and my eyes fell on a promotional item that my bank had placed at the ATM center just incase someone caught you spying...Phew!!! Thank God!!!

Anyways, in the photo you will see an advertisement for an "On the Spot Personal Loan." Lovely...excellent...so...now…you go to the bank...and they look at your credit history and ON THE SPOT they say, "GET OUT!!!"

Morons, do you know NOTHING about cricket... “You my kind Sir are from Planet Zork…”

How I met Dino The Dinosaur

Dino The Dinosaur
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

OK, I am being honest here...I have never done this before and it kind of amused me. Last evening after work, I had to attend the birthday party of a one year old. Now this may seem like an easy enough thing to do for most people, but for me it involved doing something I have not done before...basically shop for someone who is over 2 decades younger than I am. I mean...how am I to know what is hip and happening in baby land? What will kids think if he has an out dated toy? Isn’t it tough enough to buy gifts for adults?

Anyways my thoughts were on what to buy the little baby. The one thought that was very strongly running through my mind was to get the kid a mobile phone. You see, you get simple black and white mobiles for Rs.1500, and since kids love to pick up mobile phones and throw them around...wouldn’t it be a neat thing to get a kid a mobile phone of his own. Then I figured that it may not be the best thing for a kid to receive a call on the phone when he is just one year old telling him to pay his bill before the due date...worse still someone asking him if he wants a credit card...I figured that at the tender age of ONE, all you should be worried about it who will clean your poopoo when you poopoo in your chaddis.

That brought me to the next possible gift in the toy shop...How about a "Learning to Poopoo Can be Fun Set". This really does exist...it is to teach kids to get potty trained. Except that this costs Rs. 3999. At that price I might as well get the kid a colour mobile to "PICK and THROW"...

And then I came across “Dino The Dinosaur”. He does NOTHING…and I mean it…N..O..T..H..I..N..G...He has 4 wheels (Like all Dinosaurs) and a string tied around his neck. All the kid does is DRAG HIM AROUND. How exciting!!!

I am told that kids love Dino the Dinosaur...but the person who told me this was the sales girl in the shop who was later quite amused when I walked to the parking lot and got into my 4X4 Gypsy with a toy dinosaur wrapped in teddy bear gift wrapping paper.

Now that’s what I call a Kodak Moment...

This is why I love Bangalore

Where Am I
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

There you go...look at this photograph and tell me where in Bangalore do you think I was when I took it?

Muummmuumm...

What???

I didn't quite get that...Muummmummm…ok…give up???

Now this is why I love Bangalore, you will not be able to tell where in the City you are at any point in time but you can very well find PG Accommodation within walking distance.

For those of you who are wondering what PG Accommodation is, well it is an age old concept, where there is an old loving couple with one son or daughter who has now gone overseas to work or study and as a result his/her room is now empty. To fill the void in their lives, the couple decides to rent the room out to a young student or professional who wants to stay with a loving family and eat home cooked food.

Ah...such a nice thing no? But in Bangalore there is one SLIGHT difference. Basically we got rid of the OLD couple...made them move out of their room, put 3 beds in that room, then in the son/daughter's room we put in two more beds, the living room had place for 4 beds...and there you go...PG Accommodation - Nine people in a 2 bedroom house...For more information and to find yourself some super accommodation just like this, call any of the numbers you find in the picture...Oh...ya...keep Five Thousand Rupees handy...because that’s how much its gonna cost you.

I don't do Airport Pickups.

The Gypsy
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

I would like to introduce you to a new friend of mine. I am trying to work out what to call her, but the best I have been able to come up with up till now is "The Bengal Tiger"...except that if she is a SHE...it should be "The Bengal Tigress" but that just sounds weird. So for now we will just call her "The Unnamed SUV", although you can suggest names in the comments section of this blog.

Few things I need to say though...some of you may have seen my previous car and may notice that the colour GREEN is common to both vehicles. This I must add is just pure coincidence...Green is not my favorite colour...I love turquoise blue...he he he he…NO...I am kidding...Since I can just about recognize the primary colours...Blue would be the correct answer to that question.

Since I picked up this Unnamed SUV, I have noticed that it’s quite a bit of fun to drive. You will not believe how well it can get around traffic. Also ever since I picked her up, I have been able to create a long list of really hot women who REFUSE to enter my SUV. All I can say ladies is, "You know what you are missing...a hot dusty bumpy ride."

Also I have a feeling I am gonna get calls from friends over the next few days to assist them with shifting their houses...transporting TV's, Washing Machines and Fridges...Please feel free to call me anytime for assistance, I have all the numbers of professionals who do this commercially...I am PREPARED...

NO...I do not pick people up from the Railway Station, Bus Station or the Airport. Take an auto or a Cab, don't be cheap.

And YES you can drive my Unnamed SUV, I have a cheque drop box in glove compartment, make the Cheque payable to 'Rohit Jayakaran', once it clears, I will call you...and let you drive.

Ladies and Ladies...I present a Techno Geek...Really

Kiran Kumar
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

The reason I am referring to the Ladies ONLY...is because some market research has come back about my website and my blog...and results show that 96% of my website traffic is from women...so...if you are a GUY and you are on my site...you are part of the 3% minority (1% said OTHERS). If you don't believe my research, BOO HOO HOO. Buzz off...ask your dear friend the SEARCH BOX on the Google Site for "Another" random site with rants of someone going through their quarter life crisis in Timbuktu... OK NOW SHUT UP...you are disturbing me.

Yes I was gonna tell you about Kiran who is one of the Engineers at our Studios at the Radio Station. Now...until this evening I had NO idea he was a NUMBER ONE TECHNOLOGY GEEK... and I though I was the only one who had forgotten to take the vaccine when I was a kid and ended up addicted to technology...till over a cup of coffee Kiran showed me HIS CAR.

(WARNING : GEEK TALK)
(If you understand everything I have said in the paragraphs below, Congradulations YOU ARE A GEEK…)
(Ya and it does not make you cool if you don’t understand what I have said below…need I say what you are???)

Let me describe it to you...Kiran has a Audio Cassette Player...yes one of those things that plays Cassettes...Where is the technology geek angle you ask??? WAIT NO...I will tell you...this is MY STORY...go with my pace...if you wanna jump ahead, visit your dear friends at Google and they will direct your traffic elsewhere...

Ok back again...so...since he has an Audio Cassette Player, which for obvious reasons cannot play MP3's, Kiran has picked up a ‘Stereo Pin to Audio Cassette Converter’. This is a cool little gadget that is in the shape of an Audio Cassette and fits into the Tape Deck and transfers data to the head of the player and then fools the player into believing you have a cassette inside where as you are actually feeding information through the stereo pin from your portable MP3 player. (I warned you about the GEEK TALK)

Now if you have been following me, (I am sure a lot of your are NOT) you will realize that there is no need for the cassette player’s motor to rotate when you have the dummy tape inside the deck...so Kiran has opened up his music system, (on his OWN may I add) and installed a little switch which can cut power to the motor when he is listening to music from his MP3 player...all this to prevent “Wear and Tear to the Motor in Bangalore Traffic.”…Ahhhh...wait wait...there is MORE...All this music is played out through a....wait for it...8.1 Surround sound system.
8.1……8.1

Oh ya…one last thing…Did I mention the car is a Tata Indica.

Coffeeasana

Coffee with Jayakaran
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

Since I am not one of those people who is into Yoga or any age old traditions (Apart from eating well and exercising less) I decided that as we celebrate 60 years of Indian Freedom, I am gonna introduce my very own YOGA ASANA...its called..."Coffeeasana"...if you need instructions on how it is performed...buzz off, "YOU ARE A GEEK!!!"

Happy Independence Day...

60 Years of Craziness

Photo_0060
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

At Fever 104 today we have a fancy dress competition today...while some people did not read the email, some DID...Here are our two sound engineers - SOMA and SATISH...

Since most of us are in T-Shirts and jeans, we GIVE UP...the only way I can win this fancy dress competition is if I wear a Sari RIGHT NOW...

Ladies...HELP!!!

Here Comes the Judge

M E S Kishora Kendra
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

I love going down to schools and judging events and competitions. This morning I was down at MES Kishora Kendra for the second time to judge an event there. Its a lot of fun and brings back memories of when I was in School and College. These days when I judge an event, I can see how difficult it really used to be for judges in my competing days...to choose one person over the other. Sometimes you want to take just five minutes to talk to a participant to tell them what their strengths are and when their weaknesses are. The pity however is that in the middle of signing autographs, taking someone's song request and discussing a deep though with an audience member, in the distance you see a saddened contestant who did not make the cut feeling all alone and going home believing that they have been wronged...

SORRY...did I say I LOVE THIS??? Ok Now I wonder why...

(MES Kishora Kendra’s Anveshan 2007 / www.mesanveshan.com)

Chronicles of a Moo Cow

Moo Cow goes for 60
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

In exactly 5 days we celebrate 60 years of Freedom in India and my darling Moo Cow seems to be getting the branding right...his only question to you is, "Have you got your Branding, Bandana and Balloon Yet???"

Baby's day out

Baby in the Office
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

WARNING!!! I am not posting this picture because I want you to think I am sensitive...or some rubbish like that.

Here is the story...Baby Patel came to our studio/office this evening. He is quite a cute little fellow who looks exactly like his dad...sans the glasses of course...this does not go down well with Rubina though...who is the 3 month old’s mama.

In the photograph you also see Shanawas(Head of Sales)...and to the left Soma(Sound Engineer) as well.

Soma is trying to make animal sounds to amuse the kid...these animal sounds are just to confuse the kid into believing that his mom works in a zoo...I must mention here that SOMA is the one who thinks the Moo Cow I have on my desk is a Monkey...(You will find Photos on this page)

Shanawas surprised all of us, by being this really cool uncle to Baby Patel...and this is the first time he has spent over 5 minutes with ANYONE and not asked them to increase their Sales Revenues...all our Sales guys are very jealous...

Yes Mama, I cook!!!

The Kitchen
Originally uploaded by Rohit.Jayakaran

This is message to all the members of my family...
YES...I COOK...
Now get off my back.

That’s tonight’s dinner...Cutlets, Chapatis, Cheese...and the one thing that makes everything bearable for a bachelor...TOMATOE SAUCE.

In fact I am such a good cook, those who eat food I have cooked, never feel the need to eat again…or at least whenever I call them; they say they are full…